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| Eating has become a chore. It's so difficult and I'm losing so much weight and feeling crappy all the time. I have a really hard time sleeping through the night. It never fails, I wake up every morning right around 5 am, no matter what time I go to bed.
I had a really great weekend with Alex though. I'm really gonna miss my best friend when she moves to North Carolina, but I know she will do great things there. I feel things in my life slowly getting better since I have been exploring a relationship with God and praying. I have just realized that to have a true relationship with Him I have to just give it all to him and realize that my life is in His hands. That takes a lot of the weight off of my shoulders and helps with the anxiety. I know that no matter what happens, God will be there to take care of me.
I also had a really good time going to church on campus last night with Matt. I think we are going to make it a tradition. I am also very thankful for his friendship and the talks we have had.
I'm trying to keep a positive attitude but it is difficult. I just need to remember that I am not in control of my life. | | |
| I'm not gonna lie, I really hate online journals. It seems silly since
I have livejournal and xanga, but really I just like to read other
people's. This is why I never update. Maybe I will try to make more of
an effort. I just feel like I have nothing to say. And when things are
really crappy and I just want to vent, I don't even know where to
start. So for now I will just change my layout and pic. :) That is all
for now.
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| I made a new layout! Do you guys like the background? I think it's
pretty! My new pic is me with my mom and the PA from MFP, Diane (aka my
role model!)
Back to Sunday night activities...
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| This weekend at home was pretty nice. I got to see the MFPers on Friday
when I went in to see Diane. Di and I had a great talk about PA etc.
She is so inspiring. Every time I talk to her it only makes me more
excited for my future.
Friday night I went bridesmaid dress shopping with the Bachman girls.
Beka and I tried on so many dresses! We finally found the perfect one
that is going to look beautiful on everyone! I love it! It also goes
really well with Alex's dress. She tried on her dress and it brought a
tear to my eye. She looked so beautiful! I'm so excited for August
because the wedding will be so much fun! I also went out to dinner with
the Bachmans and we saw one of the little boys from Alex's class. He
was so embarassed! It was so cute.
Saturday afternoon I went to Ann Arbor to see Jin. We got some lunch
and had a nice walk around Ann Arbor since it was so nice outside! We
went back to her house and chatted lots and had a lazy Saturday (lazy
sonday).
Last night I had salmon with my parents and Alex came over and watched
a movie with me. Today I have been lounging around and hanging out with
my parents. I should be heading back to GR soon, but I'm waiting for my
dad to finish looking at my car. It is making some crazy noises so he
took all of the wheels off to look at them. He says he thinks it is
something to do with the wheels. He also said that I should see how
much I could get for a trade-in on my car. I don't know why he said
that. I still have 3 years worth of payments left on this car!
Sorry for the boring entry. I hope you guys have a great week!
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| Yes, I know it has been a very long time. The past month has been
pretty hectic and I didn't want to update because I didn't want to just
vent about all of the negative things going on. Instead I'm gonna make
a list of good things in my life...
-FRIENDS of course! I got to see Alex for a little while this weekend
while she was visiting. We played Mario Tennis with the boys. Man, that
got pretty intense. Watch out for Matt when video games are involved!
-My mom is awesome. She always knows the right things to say and she's
definitely the one person I can call when I feel like I've had the
worst day and she makes everything seem not so bad. I look up to her so
much. I just don't understand how at my age she was 7 months pregnant
with me! I can't even imagine that...especially since life already
seems so hard and I haven't even graduated!
-I'm going home this weekend and I will get to see my family, my MFP family, and hopefully Alex.
-I like nice bus drivers...I had one this morning.
-My music class should be an easy A, even though it is incredibly boring, especially as a 3 hour night class!
-I met with my advisor last Thursday and we figured out my schedule for
the rest of my undergrad. I will graduate in April next year, and take
one class this summer. It's such a relief to have all of that planned
out. That also means I will be applying to grad school next fall! I
really want to stay at GV for their PA program, but I will probably
apply to some other places too. SCARY!
-I'm looking forward to the group that I'm going to be meeting with on Thursdays. I hope that it is a good stress-reliever.
Hope you guys have a great day!
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